Thursday, October 21, 2010

I Believe in Forever...

A lot of people don't believe in forever anymore, but I really do.  I guess I am old fashioned in the sense that I think when you are dating someone, the second that you feel like you can't see your future being with them, you should end things, but if you make a committment to love, honor, and cherish someone forever, you stick with it, no matter how difficult things get. 

Lately we've been busy with weddings.  We had three in August, and then another in October.  You may remember me saying about a month ago that my friend had her engagement called off, and I thought the guy was a big jerk. 

Well, Gimpy and I were supposed to drive to VA for a Halloween wedding on October 30th, and last night after kickball I went to his place.  He was looking at something on his computer, and asked if girls often get cold feet before their weddings. 

It turned out that the girl his friend was supposed to marry packed all of her things in the house that they shared while he was in Vegas for his bachelor party this past weekend.  When he got home, all traces of her were gone, and she'd moved back in with her mom. 

I think what really bugs me about both situations, is that clearly they've been having these feelings for a while.  Why wouldn't they feel comfortable talking about them with someone they loved so much that they asked/promised to marry them?  Does anyone have any thoughts? 

3 comments:

mm said...

I agree that couples should be able to talk about their opinions/feelings on anything - and trust that their partner is willing to listen and support them as needed.
I have a very close friend who is currently going through a divorce after less than a year of marriage because he realized they shouldn't have gotten married. It came to the point where he didn't really want to break up, and they'd been together so long marriage was the "next step", so he figured that must be teh way to go... and then realized afterwards that it wasn't what he truly wanted. I think sometimes people almost feel like they've "come too far" to speak up or they feel so much pressure (real or imagined) from their families and friends that they're almost afraid to rock the boat or hurt the other person by talking about their doubts, fears, frustrations, etc... Or they feel like admitting it means there is something wrong with themselves because they don't have the Hollywood/storybook romance they think they should have.
It's just a sad story all the way around for everyone involved. Obviously I do believe in forever, and in the case of your two friends do think it's better that they figured it out before the actual wedding - it's just unfortunate that they hurt someone else so much in the process. :o(

*uncorked said...

This is what is so terrifying about letting yourself be vulnerable. Ugh.

Little J said...

@V - Don't worry. From the sounds of your new guy, he's in it for the long haul. Just let me know if/when he gets back from a surprise trip to the Caymens.

@MM - sadly... it was our friends who were left standing behind to figure out their lives. The girl who broke Gimpy's friend's heart... is even already posting on FB about a new bikini wax and going out to hit the town. Less than 2 weeks after she called it off, and before their "wedding day" has even passed. Truly heartless...

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